I should write something on my blog.
I should really make something.
I should get livestreaming.
I should do some housework.
I should go outside for a walk.
I need to go to bed.
The past few weeks have been a bit shit for me.
Physically, I had been in so much pain and I have been so tired. I’ve pretty much been in bed for about 15-20 hours a day. Emotionally, I had the blank flatness of depression with the occasional outbursts of tears. Mentally, I had been worn down by a decision I had been avoiding making.
I made the decision, and acted upon it, and things are slowly starting to get better.
I hate the word “should”. I tend to use it as a weapon to beat myself with. I never meet the expectations of “should”, thus triggering the never ending spiral of failure. It’s so damned exhausting.
And I know all the stuff I should be doing to get out of this, but if it was that easy I wouldn’t be feeling this way.
I do want to write more on my blog, I’m just never sure what.
Maybe I should just sit here and type every day and see what comes out.
1 thought on “Should”
I can so identify with this. Thankfully I do not have the physical pain, but depression is an ongoing battle. I truly believe in the healing process of writing and also making artwork.