Looking through the Johari Window

It’s been a month since I started consciously choosing to go gently into the world, instead of going out there wearing my armour of aggression and rudeness. 

My exhaustion is palpable, or at least I think so. I am relearning different automatic responses; tampering down my initial reaction, so that I can give a reaction that I choose. I am so very tired, however, I think it is worth it. I don’t want people to avoid me because I behave in a way that does not align with my values. 

A fortnight ago, I was briefly introduced to the “Johari Window”, a tool for improving self-awareness.

Basically, it covers what you know about yourself and what others know about you in a lovely 2 by 2 grid. 

  • Open/Arena – where what you know about yourself and what others know about you align. 
  • Hidden/Façade – the things you know about yourself that others do not know. 
  • Blind – the things you do not know about yourself that others do know
  • Unknown – the things you do not know about yourself and others do not know either

Forgive me for the simplified explanation, as the idea is new to me and I haven’t looked at it in detail, but this little introduction hit me hard. The work I have been doing recently fits into this model in a very helpful way. I am internally struggling with the conflict between my hidden self and my blind self.

My blind self is the “scary” person, the one who meets the world with hostility, the one I didn’t see until people (especially one person who I fully trust) pointed it out. My hidden self is the “scared” person, who feels threatened by the world and doesn’t want to be seen. 

The work I am doing to find a middle way between these two selves is hard, but I think it is worth it. Only a few people in my day-to-day life are aware that I am doing it, though I think people are responding to me differently and positively. Even though I am exhausted,  when I stop to reflect on how incrementally better my human interactions are I feel much more comfortable in myself. 

Here’s to synthesising scary and scared into something new that can come out into the Open. 


By littlewolfgoat

I’m Emma Saanen, known as “littlewolfgoat” (my internet handle) and “Sidhehound” (my Pagan name). I’m a spirit-led wolf-child and I am here to support the co-creation of a more magical world. I express my purpose through my animistic practice and my visionary art.

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